Saturday, March 26, 2011

Where my dad doesn't seem to abide by conventional logic

So I decided to do things a bit different today. I know all you guys have probably decided your parents are nuts in one way or another, but believe me when I say my dad might just take the cake.

One day, I was driving with my dad beside me and we were headed to Office Depot to check out a laptop I had my eyes on. I'm about to turn left when all of a sudden my dad starts screaming, "what are you doing, turn right, right, RIGHTTT!"

I can't decide if this is how I looked at him or how he looked when screaming at me.
Now, we were both correct, there was an Office Depot to the right and the left, but in order to not feel the wrath of the father, I turned right while asking, "why are we going this way?"

"The one to the right is closer."

There is no way he could know that by heart, they were both right around the same distance, and I told him as much with him replying,

"That one is 2.4 miles away, and this one is 2.2."

I stand corrected guys, he DID know it by heart. Or he lied. Money's on the latter.

As many of you might understand, I'm a little flustered at this point but I just want to go check out this laptop, so whatever. Believe or not this is not surprising behavior by my dad so I've grown used to it.

On the way there my dad tells me he went to this Office Depot yesterday to look at the laptop. This is where I could've gotten suspicious and asked some questions that would've ended this ordeal early. Unfortunately, I was daydreaming about the technological sexiness I was about to fiddle around with, so I just listened and went with it.

We finally got to the Office Depot and with the grace of a Gazelle I sprinted to the laptop section to find... They didn't have the laptop. My dad walks up with his hands in his pockets and with his incredible astuteness he can tell I'm getting frustrated so he asks, "what's wrong?"

"where's the laptop? You said you came here yesterday to look at it."

"Yeah, but when I got here they said they were out of stock."

This is the face I made; I'm not actually a middle aged man with a moustache. Then it would be weird if I was still shopping with my dad.
Now I'm starting to fume because if you remember, my dad screamed for me to go to this specific Office Depot knowing the purpose of going is to look at a laptop that he knew wasn't here. I told him as much, saying "why did you bring me to this Office Depot?"

"because this one was closer"

"But there's no laptop here!"

"I know, they told me that yesterday."

"Then why did you bring me to this one when I knew the other one had a laptop and you knew this one didn't!"

"because this one is closer!"

As if it wasn't enough that my dad had wasted my time, the icing on the cake is that he didn't realize his mistake. It's like my dad's deductive reasoning decided to break (or maybe it never existed). We obviously left soon after, and the happy ending to this story is that I did get the laptop in the end, which I'm using to write this story!

Now I know these are some nice problems to be having, I was getting a new laptop and all and I'm fully aware of how lucky I am. My dad's nuts but he's a good guy, so before all you guys start calling me spoiled understand that I realize this isn't so bad, but seriously,

all this because he thought the office depot was .2 miles closer.


  1. Oh lord I lol'd! Check out my new blog,, if you haven't yet!

  2. haha oh man. you probably both where liek FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUU on the inside. looking for more amazing stuff by you !

  3. haha lolin hard


  4. Haha. I'm sure your face was worth looking at at the first store. :D Nice post and blog, follow'd.

  5. Time to stick your dad in a nursing home

  6. Lmao mine is just as crazy.

  7. I would have fucking socked him.

    That's also your fault for listening to him in the first place.

  8. pretty funny

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  10. trololololololol I bet your dad was just fucking with you. good post man!

  11. This stuff happens to me on a daily basis.

  12. what a rascal, you should strip him of his towel in public. thatll show him!

  13. your dad sounds like a real pal :P

  14. Lmao, love the "are you kidding me!" face. Come check me out,

  15. Parents don't use any logic at all (":

  16. Its the job of parents to not use logic :p

  17. I can totally relate to you. My Dad is constantly on my back for no abiding to his ways.